In
the spring of 2014 Mathias,
Thomas and I decided to go on a road trip in the UK. This was supposed to be a safe and
“educational” journey through the land of the United Kingdom, but to be honest,
in the end the things we learned on this trip had little to do with education.
Before we arrived in the UK, we had devised a plan for
where we wanted to journey. Our starting point, we decided, would be in Wales,
or more specifically in the city of Cardiff. From there we would travel to
Birmingham, then Manchester and York, followed by a short stop in North York
Moors National Park and Northumberland National Park, before heading to the
Scottish city Edinburgh. Our last stop was supposed to be in Aberdeen. We had
calculated that this trip would take approximately five days by car.
On
our arrival in Cardiff, we immediately felt the need to get our hands on the
vehicle we would use on the road trip. We had done a little research
beforehand, and concluded that we needed something cheap, yet awesome, and that
this special car was located in a shop nearby. Therefore, the first thing we
decided to do was to pick up our ride. Its style and unique character struck
our hearts from the very beginning. In addition, we figured it would attract
SOME nice attraction, and we figured that could be fun! The magnificent piece
of art was covered in something that seemed like old rabbit skins, with floppy
ears on the roof. In fact, the car was so hairy, even the license plates were
covered by grey hair. This, we would later come to regret, as we found out that
in the UK, the license plates are required to be seen.
We
drove out of Cardiff that night, toward our next stop, Birmingham. When we
arrived in Birmingham a couple of hours later, the sun was starting to rise in
the horizon. The scenery around Birmingham was magnificent, but the weather was
something else. The whole time since we left Cardiff the rain had been pouring
down upon us. This proved to be fatal for our car’s looks. People kept looking
weirdly at us, mainly because our car looked like a drowned sewer rat. Our goal
for the Birmingham stop was to watch a baseball game at Regions Field. The
teams playing were the home team Birmingham Maple Leafs and the Norwegian SWAT
(Telemarksbataljonen). Proving to be true Vikings, the SWAT team crushed all
foreign resistance. After the match, we sort of crashed in a pub with some
other Norwegian supporters.
The
next day, we woke up to find that in the course of the night, some funny little
guy had shaved our car. Nevertheless, we continued our epic adventure to our
next big stop, which turned out to be Manchester City. Here we wanted to
experience the most important thing to an English man´s heart: a football
match. It proved to be everything we had expected it to be, and more. The
stadium was completely filled with football fans and the roars could be heard
several streets away.
The
4th day of our trip was mainly used to drive. And drive. York turned
out to be a place for crazy country folk, and not much interesting to us.
Therefore, the most important thing we did here was to eat and visit the
bathroom.
However,
the stop after York proved very much to be an interesting place. The North York
Moors National Park had the most amazing scenery. It seems that this beautiful
place is also somewhat famous, as it has been used in well-known productions,
such as Harry Potter and Heartbeat. Apparently, there were bears there, so we
just decided to drive on, instead of camping.
After
a long night on the road, the sleep came crouching, so when we finally arrived
in Northumberland National Park we set camp and fell asleep. After all, we had
just seen another National Park, and therefore thought; “How different can they
be...?” Our snoring could be heard several miles away that day.
The
6th day was the day of our arrival in Edinburgh. We had been looking
forward to this moment. As it happened, this was, by pure accident St.
Patrick’s Day and the streets were filled with people in green costumes and
happy smiles. The air was filled with the smell of corned beef and cabbage
floating from the restaurants. The weather was perfect and we suddenly felt
renewed for the rest of our journey. Even though we were quite tired of the
long drive, we started exploring the city. As it turned out, they also had good
beef and a bottle of Scotch, so the lads and I had a very nice time relaxing
some. Later this day we visited the Edinburgh castle and had a nice tour of the
castle grounds. The night was spent in the company of many other people in a
VERY nice nightclub, Boom Boom Club, with lots of fiiiinelookin ladies!
In
the course of the night our car had mysteriously vanished (one word: poker), so
instead of using lots of time looking for it, we took a train to Aberdeen on
the 7th day. From here on, we used some of our cash, the prize money
from last night’s gambling, to buy ourselves a goddamn fast piece of engineering,
currently going by the name Lommey.
It´s a yellow Lamborghini Aventador.
After
buying the car, we did of course have to test-drive it. Since Loch Ness was
close by, we decided that would be our goal. A quick trip was our intended
purpose. We should not have let Thomas drive, however. That was our first
mistake. The second one was not to remember the shots we´d given him at the
last pub we visited. I guess that was sort of our fault. As we drew closer to
the Loch, it became apparent that he was still affected by the liquid, and the
results were rather devastating. Short story: the car ended at the bottom of
Loch Ness and we were left disoriented on a cliff above the lake. That´s how we
ended up walking to the airport at Inverness, to take a flight home. That
marked the end of our road trip.